So, I used one day in between here somewhere by slacking totally, because… I think I needed it.

Yesterday though, the weather was so lovely that I grabbed doggies and a sister and went to walk on the ice. Here are a couple of photos for ya.

My Abel has 127 citizens.

Oh and the day before yesterday I took my grandma to the cemetery to check on her brother’s grave site (he passed away in January), and since it was a bit of a walk, I briefly wondered if I should have Zombies, Run! on but…yeah. It was on a cemetery. :D Even in daylight, that might’ve been a tad creepy. :D

It was such a sunny, bright and sparkly day today. I usually get annoyed at that sort of days, but not today.

Last night I won a Diablo 3 beta key from a fansite. Will probably have beta access tomorrow. I keep telling myself that I’ll still go for walks and still do my job, lol.

I did go for a walk today, managed to get some supplies and after distributing them to my township, I have 112 people in my Abel. Yay. ^^

The plot is sucking me in too. It’s really good and exciting. Despite the technical stuff that’s still not quite right about the app, it’s definitely worth it. Just great.

Slacking. I know.

However, I’ve been moving about a little, which is good, I think.

Not much Zombies, I’m afraid (then again, I did rewatch Zombieland this morning, does that count?), I’m at 108 citizens in my township right now.

What strikes me as…interesting, I suppose, is that I really am looking forward to the walks. If I could, physically I mean, I would walk a lot more. Especially when it’s sunny as hell and warm outside despite the cold wind and the fact that with all the snow, the sunlight makes my eyes hurt like a bitch. I’m looking forward to exercise. Never thought I’d say those words. Honestly.

Now, the ones following me or just reading me need to understand this: before Zombies, Run! I didn’t exercise. The amount of any sort of physical strain was from carrying firewood, walking around the house and at the stables (minimum stablework, since I don’t really have to do it everyday nor do I enjoy being around horses anymore, I’m just tired of the whole thing these days). I didn’t go for walks, I didn’t do ANYTHING.

So for me, going for a walk for 1 kilometer (like I did today after watching Zombieland and playing a bit of Mario Kart) is HUGE.

I’m at home now, by the way. I was at the health center from Monday to Friday and it was…okay.

I swam a lot, every day from Mon to Thursday. I dragged my morbidly obese arse to the pool and I swam. Not much, but I swam. You who struggle with a tiny bit of “too much” on your bones have no idea what I’m going through, how happy and PROUD I am to have done it.

Now, I’m not a happy person. Not someone who is…cheerful. I take my wins and my losses with the same kind of “well…so that happened.” Right now I actually feel proud of myself, even though I didn’t exercise at all yesterday (too busy getting back home, unpacking, trying to figure out how to live my regular life again etc.)

I’m not trying to “lose weight”. I’m trying to turn going for walks into a routine. Because, and I truly believe this, those walks will eventually turn into something more and that can’t be wrong.

I haven’t been slacking, I swear!

On Sunday I went for another walk, just a bit longer this time, and managed to get some folks for my Abel Township (91 total). So that was good.

On Monday I came to the health center where my sort-of-depression-rehab is happening. I went to the gym (didn’t have my iPhone with me) so no new townspeople yesterday. I did get my muscles sore (even those I didn’t know I had) and then I even went to the pool and swam for a while as well! Miracle, I say.

Today is Tuesday and I’ve been to a stretching/balance group (where everyone else was between 75-90 years old…) and that was fun, seriously good for my muscles. Then I went swimming but since I’m so sore, I swam a bit and spent a while in the sauna to soak the warmth into my muscles. That felt great.

Once I was done with my shrink’s appointment, I walked to the grocery store nearby and got some almonds and lime drink and bananas (and some candy but not much, promise), because I woke up SUPER hungry this morning I want something to snack on during the evenings after dinnertime which is relatively early.

Because of the grocery run, I’m at 95 people in my Abel Township! Go runner 5!

I planned on going today for another walk-with-zombies last night when I went to bed. I had a huge plan on going during the daytime, going further away and such. Didn’t quite happen like that…

I woke up at nearly dark again, having slept for about 13 hours. Yeah…….

I did some chores, read some, had dinner and grabbed a dog and went outside. I just got back, it’s ten thirty my time. At least I spent over half an hour by walking? That’s good, right?

My Abel Township has now 85 people in it and I’m proud of each and every one of them. 

It’s… February 24th. I actually had to check that.

Something happened today, and it made me figure why not. 

Maybe today was the day or maybe it is tomorrow or the day after. Next week or it may never come. Yes I know I sound awfully passive, but that’s how I am, passive.

Years of depression and anxiety does that to you.

The event that happened today? Zombies Run-app became available for those who preordered it. I immediately got it, grabbed the minidog and went outside into the dark.

Dark, you ask? Yes. I woke up at six in the evening. That’s how my life is.

Let’s start again, shall we?

Hi, I’m Runner 5. Or one of them, at least.

I’m 31, I’m female, I’m somewhat 5’6” and I weigh…around 300lbs.

I live in the middle of nowhere, quite literally, in a place where there are no gyms in town and I don’t own a car to get to the swimming baths that are in town, nowhere near where I am.

I’ve been depressed most my adult life, though there was a stretch of time in my mid-twenties when I could go to work and study for a few years and I managed it just fine. Then the depression came back and here I am, a few years later. Again.

Now, Zombies, Run! is something I’ve been waiting for a reason. I need incentive to go out and even take a walk. Otherwise I’ll just sit inside and that’s it. Here’s the computer and the comfy chair and my social life revolves around those two items.

I’ve let myself go. That’s the… I don’t know. The key point. I’ve given in to my depression that works as a reason to not exercise what so ever. Nothing that makes me feel uncomfortable is worth it, because it potentially makes me feel worse. That’s how I’ve lived for years now.

I have a career, working from home, that I can handle somewhat, not really well but it’s working, I’m working, for now. If the depression wasn’t a factor, I would actually make money, I suppose. I would enjoy the job I do much more.

Now, tonight I got the app and the dog and went out with a flashlight and began to listen to the Zombies, Run! app and…walked. Even jogged for a very brief moment just to get the dog going. She was running about—no need for a leash here—and enjoying herself and the rare opportunity to go on a walk with mom. I know, I’m a bad dog owner, I don’t take her to walks. She does go out on the yard several times a day though, and she’s happy with that. The rest of the time she’s the queen of the couch.

Anyway. I was outside, listening to the track and I kept at it for over 20 minutes. Just walking aimlessly, listening, breathing in the night air in the dark, clean forest. It was nice. Not great or mindblowing, just nice.

Tomorrow I might go during the daylight hours and walk elsewhere, for a longer time. At least I hope to do so. Nothing is ever sure when it comes to my personal “I mights”.

On Monday I’ll be going to what I call “depression rehab”. It’s a five-day thing, going to a retreat of sorts, but it’s mandatory from the healthcare POV. It’s an in-patient thing, so I’ll be staying there. They have a pool. I think I might brave going into the water… I love swimming, but can really only do it in the summertime.

I’m cautiously optimistic, I feel like there’s a tiny sliver in my mind that keeps insisting I should go for a walk every day, take the time at the rehab-place to get into an exercise routine of some sort. If they have a gym, go check it out, but at least swim and go for walks. Or rather, go run with the zombies.